Related Video Collections
All Comments
Ladies, Please Help Me Find My Confidence.? Ok, when I was 6 years old, my mom and I moved to kentucky,
and while there we lived in 2 trailers, an apartment, and then
we went to live with my moms boyfriend in the boonies of kentucky,
while in kentucky, I never got to have any friends, because we moved
back and forth for awhile, and while in kentucky, after I had stayed
with my mom for awhile, I ended up going to live with a preacher and his wife, until they found me a foster home, then I lived there for a year, and this happened because my mom fainted because of one of her medicine she took for anxiety, sorry for this being such a long question, but I've been through so much that this is the best I can do for right now... anyways my dad came and picked me up a year after living in the foster home, at the time I was 10. I came to live with my dad, and then all this abuse started.. my dad would, hit me with a belt or paddle aross the face, the stomach, the legs, and he would knock me down to the floor, and stand on top of my legs, and jump up and down on them, while hitting me with a paddle, on the stomach, and chest, and this paddle was 2 inches thick with holes in it, and then he would kick me in the stomach, and legs, and sides, then would drag me into the bathroom, by my ear from the floor, and smack, punch, and bite me on the neck, and shoulders, and would laugh psychotically, and say do you think that's funny, I would end up with black eyes, busted lips, bruises, and bloody noses, because of this I used to cut myself, because it made me feel relaxed... then he raped me, and at that time I was 10 almost 11.. then I was molested 5 times around 11 or 12, by my sisters now exhusband, and I told her about it and she just said oh you know how he is, he likes to guy around, then I was molested by this same sister, when I was 4, then molested by my mom at 8, during a time when I had the flu and had to stay home from school, then I was molested, by these 2 boys that were 11 or 12 one was my uncles friend's son, and the other was my babysitter's step nephew.. then I tried killing myself when I was 12 because of all of this.... and my dad had me so scared of him, and I was so scared of my sister's too that I literally felt as though, I was a prisoner, in my own room, and a slave in my own house, I barely left the house when I was a guy, teenager, and adult, I remember being so scared that for a whole year I didn't speak, I was afraid to go to bed, I was afraid to go to the bathroom, eat, smile, go to school, I was so afraid of him that, when we went to therapy sessions, I couldn't tell the therapist what was really going on at home, because I was afraid that,, he would come in the room and beat me up or kill me, even though the therapist, put the phone next to her, and got up and locked the door, so therapy didn't work, and also when I was 12 I was given a generic form of Ritalin for ADHD and ADD, and because I was so afraid of my dad, when the psychiatrist, looked at me, and asked me if the medicine was working, my dad was looking at me with a mean look on his face, and before hand he was mentioning to the psychiatrist that he didn't think I needed the medicine, and as soon as he said that he looked over at me really fast, and gave me that mean look, as if to tell me I wasn't allowed to take the medicine, so I've had ADD and ADHD most of my life, and felt enslaved in my house until 25, and then at 25 my dad died... so I felt, as if someone came in my house, and unchained the shackles, and set me free, and now finally I can live my own life as I see fit, but I'm still struggling, with all these issues, I still have ADD and ADHD, but I take this medicine called Foucus Factor, and it actually helps me, then I ended up getting high blood pressure, that reached 210 to 220
and my life flashed before my eyes almost like a movie, and then i died... and came back a few minutes later, and while this was all happening, I seen my dad, my sister's, and my brothernlaw all controlling me, ganging up on me, and all this abuse, and I said to myself, I have to start standing up for myself more, even if I have to go to jail, so that also helped me get my life going finally, now, I have all sorts of things to worry about, I have no job, no real friends, no money, no woman to share my life with, I fat, not very tall, I have never been in a relationship with a woman, because when a woman holds my hand or hugs me, I start shaking all over my body, and I feel as if she's violating me in some way, which I know isn't true, but I still feel that way, and I constantly worry about, If I'm good enough, I feel like I'm no good, and I don't deserve anything, plus I worry about when I do finally have a relationship with a woman, if I will hold her hand the right way, kiss her the right way, hug her the right way, make love the right way, if I'll last long enough in bed for her, and if my penis is big enough | | omg I AM SO SORRY! Your life sounds horrible. With all the things you've been through you need therapy, not yahoo answers. Or find someone in your life that loves you like an aunt, uncle, grandparent anyone and just talk to them. Maybe it would be good for you to just start a whole new life, like move somewhere where you've always dreamed of going and just forget about your past completely. Best wishes! |
|