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| What if nursing homes were really like this? lol? A son was placing his father into a nursing home. "Please don't put me in there son!" cried the old man. The son said, "Pop, I can't take care of you & work too. I've checked the place out & it is the best one there is. I think you'll love it." The next day the father called his son & said, "Son, you were right! I LOVE this place it is so great here. Thank you so much for making the decision!" "That's swell dad," said the son. "What makes it so great?" "Well" replied the dad, "Last night I was in my room & from out of nowhere, I got an erection. A nurse came in, saw me & gave me a *******! I haven't had one of those in 30 or 40 years! I'd almost forgotten what it was like! It was fantastic!" "That's great dad," said the son. A few days later the father called his son again & said "You have to get me out of here! I hate this place! I can't live here any more!" "What's wrong pop?" asked the son. "Last night I fell down in the hallway. I was getting up & when I was on my hands & knees, a male nurse came along & sodomized me! I CAN NOT and WILL NOT live like this!" The son said, "Dad, I know that's terrible and we'll get it straightened out, but until then, you have to understand, we have to take the good with the bad. Just hang in there". "No son" said the dad. "You don't understand! I get an erection maybe once a year! I fall down two or three times a day!!!!!" |
| Something tells me the old man's erection will pick up with that nurse around... MAYbe the falling down will be slow as the fear of falling down increases. i KNEW there was hanky panky in nursing homes, Everyone looks the other way and smiles. Long way off, Temptress |
| Hiv blood test came up negative after 6 weeks (41 days) after possible exposure conclusive? so i had sex with this girl i had only known for about 1 week and a half ago ( had asked her before we had sec if she had std's and she told me no and got upset), so i went and we had protected sex for about 15 minutes. during intercourse the condom slipped half way i immediately went washed up and put a new condom on( she was also on her period but barely any blood came out). so as we were having sex she had squirted her vaginal fluids all over me ( and this is a problem because i shaved my pubic hairs 6 hours prior and i had little razor cuts which brang out little specs of blood) would her vaginal fluids have went in the cuts of no would they have healed by then they were very small. i also got a ******* from her for 5 minutes and cummed inside her mouth. i then had sex with her another time the next week but no slippage or anything the sex was perfect, but i got unprotected oral again. my symtoms are weird, ive devoloped a white tongue( i smoke and i never really checked it out untill i had searched up symtoms) it looks white but ive asked 3 separate doctors and theyv all told me its not hiv, second is ive been having stomach pains( especially after i eat) these stomach pains were the first symotms they started a day after i had sex with her, these pains are stomach rumbling, upset stomach, nausea, but no vomiting. also ive started having chills on my back like 6 weeks in. i have also lost my sppitite completely, lost 15 pounds. and the final and most symtom would have to be the depression and anxiety and stress, i went to the point of thinking suicidal, i didnt tell me doctor that tho, he told me all my symtoms are from anxiety and depression( i have suffered a hellovalot overe the past 6 week from depression). so he gave me antidepressants for the stress/ anxiety/depression. now i did the hiv blood test 6 weeking ( 41 days in) and they truned out negative ) ive also asked the girl i had sex with numerous times and she has said no and got really upset( she has 3 guys and promisses shes clean and had a test done about 2 weeks before we had sex). im still very worried about idk why the nurse and the std office had told me i have nothing to worry about anymore because the test is pretty much conclusive ive also beeen feeling alot better from my stress and depression but im starting the anti depressants now. could is till have hiv and they didnt catch it ??? plzz help me im still soo afraid so my doctor |
| Honestly, the chances of you having contracted HIV from this encounter are very small. You should however test at 3 months post exposure and then again at 6 months if you are still worried. Stress and anxiety can cause all of the symptoms you are having so get retested in 6 weeks and give yourself some peace of mind. |
| SEXPERTS: My GF says NO MORE SEX!!! :O WTF? - I'm 24, shes 20 there is definitely love in our relationship -We've been together like 6 months with some pretty good drama -Shes busy w nursing school, I graduated and just work -shes a little insecure, immature, i'm dramatic and pushy lol -We had a pregancy scare like 3 months ago that freaked us out a little -Shes been on her period for like 10 days supposedly -She says that half the time we have sex it hurts (im 8in long & 6in around) -Once in a while I spend the night at her place, and I try to fall asleep and i don't touch her cuz i get easily turned on and shes always "tired" even tho its still early -When I just try to fall asleep it seems like she like she feels ignored and seeks my attention....she starts to caress me... to touch me lol and stroke my area (even tho we have a rule that if she touches me there we are doing it) and lately its been she is "too hot" so she takes off her bra and shirt lol - Last night that happened and we made out.... it was awesome..SO DAMN PASSIONATE...mmmmmmmm lol.. we love each other and it shows in the way we kiss and caress each other - and so like we reach a point where its like ok lets goto sleep (since shes still spotting) and then shes says "i dont want to have sex anymore because of the whole pregancy scare" .... i kinda felt like it was a test... but then said happily and cool "its cool, i really don't want a baby right now! " she was like surprised and hugged me and said "really" i was like "yeah, i can survive on blowjobs and handjobs" lol and she laughed and said she would never give me a ******* (>:O) that was it we went to sleep so DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?? IS SHE TESTING ME? WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE HER WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME... IM A GREAT SHAPE, GOODLOOKIN ETC.. IS THE BEST TACTIC TO JUST LAY OFF COMPLETELY AND LET HER COME TO ME? LOL THIS IS RIDICULOUS... BUT AT THE SAME TIME JUST BEING NEXT TO HER AND KISSING HER MAKES ME FEEL SATISFIED AND HAPPY... WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS |
| yeah the best thing to do is respect her wishes. she will come to you eventually. this very well could be a game. if she was that afraid of getting pregnant she would just get on birth control. i think shes testing your love for her. you definitely did the right thing when you acted cool with her decision....thats exactly what she wanted you to say. it shows that you are in love with her. its great that you are satisfied by just being around her. if you show her that then she will be all over you. just be patient. i give it a week and she will be ripping your clothes off!! |